Speed Of Sound
by agoodcupoftea
Summary: Written for LJ's Digi tomato and no relation to anything else here. Masaru struggles with the stigma of feelings toward another male, carrying so many on his shoulders. Will they reject him? Tohma? Scenes of Masaru/Ikuto and Masaru/Chika familial.


Disclaimer: If I owned Digimon Savers, this would be on TV; not here. I obviously don't own Coldplay's "Speed Of Sound", either, nor the book Tohma's reading in one scene. I do, though, own the plot, which matches nothing else I've written, but is done for LJ's digi_tomato community and is just cross posted both to there and because I wrote it, so it goes up.

After Savers, scrapping episode 48 after the fight. Nothing graphic; that's not me, anyway. Assuming everyone is 1 year older than at the start of the series.

"T" Rated, smut-free. Also tragedy-free, but, whatever. Most deals with what LGBT teens/young adults go through, except a Masaru/Ikuto section which deals with kids raising kids. I'm currently discovering the LGBT community here in the East Bay, and I might change some stuff to put as some kind of short story reading for that…opinions, please? One cannot be an impartial judge of their own actions, as e.g. here-this wouldn't be posted if I didn't like it.

In my -only fic chain, almost no one is really FULL Japanese. I had come up with some ethnicities, and I like it. It's not canon, but fics aren't. Masaru being part-Afghani, and otherwise Russo-Japanese, and Yoshino being Serbian and Bosnian was all supposed to mean something there. It's not MUCH use here, but oooooh, weeeeeelll.

Masaru as a sibling/parental figure to Ikuto- snuck in here because I LOVED that (it reminded me of me & my brother-for whose welfare I was all in all, responsible for a time. He became almost like a kid of my own…who was born when I was six, but okay…and I…well, I was kinda really *'fesses* devastated when we parted, but we're both great now- he has a job and just graduated High School. He has an impairment that prevents him from seeing this, but I don't need a shout-out; he knows I love him^_^) I really enjoyed that very much in the original, Masaru and Ikuto's familial relationship, but no one else ever writes that, so I am.

Also, what Masaru assumes in the second part about Tohma…I deal w/this thought a lot…in fact, currently…but she IS straight- it's confirmed.

…so why don't I write yuri?

…I have some on the chain mixed in with…everything, but as a focus…Well, I have to relate somehow to the mindsets of my characters. I have a couple yuri pairing ideas I like, but it's a struggle to get the more feminine androgyny than what's here; a **slightly** masculine androgyny- but I find femininity attractive, and would want that there. Simply put, I don't do it justice…unless someone wants to help…? *HINTHINT*

"_**Speed Of Sound"**_

"How long before I get in?/  
Before it starts; before I begin?  
How long before you decide/  
Before I know what it feels like?/  
Where to, where do I go?  
If you never try, then you'll never know/  
How long do I have to climb  
Up on the side of this mountain of mine?/"

One of DATS' first missions after the apocalypse was averted was, for Capitan Satsuma Rentarou, Commander Yushima Hiroshi, and Dr. Daimon Suguru Faruq, to clean up the political and media frenzies.

Miki and Megumi remained vigilant as ever, dutifully monitouring away.

Ikuto was given time…actually, Ikuto was touched to the point of tears when Masaru had pushed for it, backing up (overshadowing) the good Professors Noguchi, in his usual…less than professional manner.

This left Yoshino, Masaru, Tohma, and their digimon the scut-work; going in, with their own hands, to fix the actual physical damage to the Yokohama-Tokyo Bay Area.

Shifts for the six began at 5:30, and it was now 17:42.

Masaru hadn't really slept as of late. The Noguchis' house had been demolished, and so had the better part of the city…this included the banks in which most, including the scientist husband-and-wife duo, had their accounts, as well as most any hotels.

As such, they hadn't a place to stay…until Masaru suggested his place (after pulling his family aside and confirming their agreements).

Suguru and his wife, Sayuri Evgenia, offered to share their bedroom, but the Noguchi adults took the Murphy bed in the sofa downstairs. The Daimon couple had been unwillingly separated for ten years; they needed space.

Ikuto stayed in Masaru's room. Most nights, Misuzu or Kenji would tuck him in (Masaru had a pillow and blanket on the floor; he'd gave Ikuto the bed), but he would still lay awake. Often, the child, were he lucky to fall asleep, would wake in but an hour or two, paralysed in fear, covered in cold sweat, and crying as he shook like a leaf in November.

On the third night, Masaru had laid Ikuto back against his chest on the bed, held the child, stroking his hair and talking about (the better times) of when he'd been 11 himself, and how much wonderful new things Ikuto would see in the human world.

Ikuto had slept peacefully for about two-thirds of the night, which Masaru knew to be an improvement, so they'd developed a nightly ritual, in which Masaru would perhaps read aloud a book (Usually some carefully selected benign poetry from his National Language class book; GTO and Lupin III manga wouldn't go well. Nor would his mum's drugstore novels or Chika's Disney movie adaptations), or talk about one of his parents' countries, Russia or Afghanistan, when he'd visited in his grade-school days (and leaving out any mentions of the wars, poverty, or whatnot- not bedtime material).

However, Ikuto still had nightmares, and, so as to not disrupt or worry others, for the time being, Ikuto, Masaru, and their digimon, were they not in the digivices, were the only living souls who were awake at the time they awoke.

On this day, Masaru had woken at a rough quarter to three. So had Ikuto (the one to awake the elder) and Falcomon…but Ikuto and Falcomon hadn't been doing disaster clean-up in a South Kantoshin August for the last eleven hours…

Back in HQ, the three humans had to type daily logs- especially for this such task, EVERYTHING had to be documented.

Everyone had a separate report, as everyone had a different area for the week. Masaru's was Harbour View Park. They were all assisting crews deployed by the Japan Disaster Relief forces, but the JDR crews weren't going to help THEM with the red tape…

Though Masaru, personally, thought that majorly sucked, as he stared down the evil contraption known oh-so-benignly as a 'computer'.

'_More like hell-puter…whatever that means…'_, he hadn't said it aloud, so he couldn't even say it made sense in his head.

Miki stood to head outside for a quick cigarette and noticed the 15-year old.

"Masaru, I hate to tell you," she smiled earnestly, showing she only meant to be humourous, "but this isn't X-Men, and you're not Jean Grey. Type your damn report."

Masaru turned to her, smiling sarcastically, but not threatening, "Ah-ha, ah-ha- not funny; keep your day job."

"And keep yours; type it before Satsuma scolds you deaf," she said and left.

Masaru looked at the two other teens. Yoshino straight ignored him, humming some Dr. Iggy tune; she knew why he was looking.

Tohma really couldn't, he turned back around, but he knew too.

"I swear, I heard something, but I wasn't paying attention," it was true enough. He knew some exchange had transpired, and it wasn't about the latest music or picnic weather, but he had his mind full with…some other concerns.

"Man, you just got hella served, Big Brother! Who does she think she is? That was damn embarrassing!" Agumon tried to back up his partner. _TRIED…_

Masaru went flat-eyed, and, knowing Miki was, for all intents and purposes, right, set about typing.

Anyone he knew at work told him the importance of letting the typing program start. He waited, and swore a round-trip walk to his old school would've taken less time. (School-grounds, anyway; half his school had a giant footprint through it.)

He began typing, or, well, hitting keys. He typed with the first finger of his right hand only and had to look at the keyboard…and besides, the program had started, but not a document…

As such, he was actually hitting controls to open menus and boxes, and when he looked up; the damn thing was 51/50-ing.

He bit his lip to keep from calling attention to himself (as in, by highly audible words that are edited from most media).

It made a wonderful ZZZHHT! noise though when the screen flashed random colours and zapped dead.

Of course, Tohma was tech support. He looked over, and Masaru knew he saw it.

Tohma, rightfully, was quite exasperated.

"Masaru, what in God's name did you do this time?" he sighed wearily.

Masaru cringed, "I swear I'd tell you if I knew." He raised his open hands in defence, and to show open, empty hands…it was the martial arts training talking.

Tohma, still in his chair, turned around fully to face Masaru. Hell, he wasn't really going to ARGUE with the elder-by-all-of-five-months who'd just **saved two worlds**, but…

He gestured with his slender hands open, to the kaputz machine (of doom).

"You know I have to pull overtime to fix it now, right?" Tohma asked, unhappy, but not at all angered or aggressive (almost whining, really).

Now Masaru felt like COMPLETE shit.

In the space between the day Yggdrasil relinquished and the revival of DATS, the three teens had met and spoken. Tohma hadn't said much, but he did say that most of his nights were spent researching and experimenting in the field of modern medicine, for Relena.

Why, he'd not specified. They'd seen her that once, that day of celebration, for but a short time before a nurse wheeled her off, so Masaru and Yoshino knew she wasn't in good health…

…but it was enough to explain the bags under Tohma's eyes. Masaru knew well the look in Tohma's eyes when Relana was there. That child was Tohma's world.

Masaru was QUITE tired himself, he loved Ikuto dearly (almost like a parent more than a brother), but the half-circles under Tohma's crystalline eyes were just about black…

Masaru's shoulders, and heart, immediately sank. On impulse, as usual, he acted.

He walked over to Tohma, took the pale hands gently in both his own, and knelt down on both knees, since Tohma was seated.

"Tohma…I'm really, really sorry. It wasn't intentional, but since I don't know this stuff, I…well, it isn't fair. Is there **anything** I can do to make it right?"

Tohma was staring intently into Masaru's eyes and now red just below the black-ish eye circles, and, well…looking…shocked…

Then, Masaru realized what they actually looked like there, and roughly guessed that…well, that it wasn't good.

He gently laid Tohma's hands down, looking at the floor as he stood.

"Maybe," he put a hand to his head in duress, "Maybe I just need to shut up and leave you all alone.

"See you all tomorrow."

He looked up slightly through his hair at a perplexed-as-shit Agumon.

"Come on, Agumon," he said lackluster.

Agumon looked around like ten ventriloquists were throwing their voices before finally stuttering, "Uhh, okay, Big Brother…"

Agumon could be heard asking Masaru if he was okay from down the hall…and they were gone.

Tohma was staring at his hands.

"Master," Gaomon asked calmly enough to avoid scaring the bejeezus out of his Tamer, "Shall I prepare some tea?"

Tohma snapped out of it, whatever 'it' was. "Tea? Um, if you wouldn't mind, tea is...good, tea is tea, or it would be something else…and it isn't…report," he reminded himself, and promptly ceased to verbalise.

"Look up, I look up at night/  
Planets are moving at the speed of light,/  
Climb up, up in the trees/  
Every chance that you get is a chance you seize/  
How long am I gonna stand/  
With my head stuck under the sand?/  
I'll start before I can stop/  
Before I see things the right way up./"

"There you go," Masaru laid aside the towel with which he'd just dried Ikuto's hair.

The Noguchi adults were being detained at DATS by a lovely, fun, fun Mt. Vesuvius-sized project. All four Daimons offered to also take Yuka, but out of guilt for already imposing, Misuzu proposed she and Kenji take turns at HQ, watching Yuka or working on the portal size control algorithms.(A/N: BBS-Believable Bull Shit^_^)

In other words, they wouldn't be there to tuck Ikuto in. Masaru could only hope Ikuto would take it well after all they'd recently endured.

Ikuto seemed okay so far. He looked sad the moment he'd been told, but he didn't stay sad; Masaru would be there.

The little one went for his clothes, a green long-sleeved shirt and grey sweats, "So these were yours when you were my age?" he asked/stated.

Masaru nodded, "Yeah. I never knew why Mum always saved my old clothes, but now I'm glad."

Masaru was clothed from the waist down, but…

"One more question," Ikuto said as Masaru set about straightening the bathroom.

Masaru laid the used towels aside, came over and knelt down, giving Ikuto his full attention.

He smiled warmly in response to Ikuto's apparent unease, "Sure. Go ahead."

"What…are all these marks on you?" Ikuto traced a large one over Masaru's chest. They all had injuries and wounds from the Yggdrasil crisis, the two themselves included, but these were older scars…and there were a good few of them, too.

Masaru just smiled again, "Well...I get into a lot of fights. There're a lot of…bad people…around here, and I've seen terrible things happen to people I care about. The reason I've always fought hasn't changed. "

He shrugged, "I may get hurt a little, but I'd rather it be me than any of you."

Ikuto smiled so wide, it squeezed the tears out of his eyes. He pounced on Masaru in a hug.

"Hey, hey, what's wrong?" Masaru was a tad disconcerted by his crying.

Ikuto moved back, not really crying anymore, "When I grow up, I want to be just like you!"

Masaru looked stunned, then just looked away, puzzling Ikuto.

Masaru looked back to Ikuto, gently cupping the child's cheek, "No. Be better."

"Huh?"

Masaru stood, and recommenced cleaning up, "Get into bed; I'll be there in a sec, 'k?"

"Ok."

Ikuto looked back one more time at Masaru, who was cleaning out the tub, _'I still wanna be just like you.'_

Masaru was drawing a blank on subjects to talk about. He wanted to tell him a bed-time story sort of thing, not bore him (school crap, past shitty part-time job he'd lost two weeks before meeting Agumon) or terrify him (elabourating on the 'terrible things' he'd semi-mentioned earlier).

They probably didn't have those old fable books…nope, he clearly remembered a teething infant Chika assuring that. He chuckled fondly at the memory as he absent-mindedly stroked Ikuto's hair.

Ikuto didn't say much; just snuggled in tighter, soothed by the rhythms of the gentle hand stroking his hair, and the sound of his hero's heart beating.

A while had passed, and Masaru felt a bit of moisture on his chest under Ikuto's head…he couldn't be crying…?

No, he was drooling. Dead asleep and drooling.

Masaru smiled, kids are cute-point blank. Gently, he got up and laid the child in the bed, tucking him in. He gently kissed the child's forehead and shut the lights…

…but he couldn't sleep, and he knew it.

He sat backwards on the chair that was usually in the corner, chin resting atop his arms on the chair-back, and gazed out the window at the city night sky, dark turned to purple mist by the streetlights.

It wasn't the stare that carries pride, to which all DATS members had right at the moment; it was more like he was looking for answers, or at least looking far away from and above the confusion clouding in and around himself.

Tohma's look that evening…

Ikuto's words…

The way he felt toward Ikuto was similar to that toward Chika…but it kind of wasn't…

_Oh, that's it…_ Somehow, he and Ikuto had become like father-and-son…which was bad-Ikuto had parents, and Masaru didn't want to stand in the way- that would be AFTER the LAST thing he'd ever want to do.

He did love Ikuto in that way, which was extremely odd considering Ikuto was only 4 years younger than him, so that didn't really make sense…but what did anymore? Who gave a fuck? He just wouldn't talk about it to outsiders was all.

…and Tohma…

He couldn't really tell how Tohma had felt about his actions earlier….

Sitting there was driving him mad. With nothing else to do at 23: …something…he paced in the dark around the walkable spaces.

And besides, only two other people in the whole damn world even knew about Masaru's…sexuality. One was his twenty-six year old cousin, Junpei, whose wife was a male-to-female, and they lived in Kobe, not next-door. Three would've known, but one'd been gone since Masaru was a preschooler.

It wasn't about denial or some other bullshit, but if he'd ever spoken, he'd be jumped, harassed, beaten…and he lived where he lived, with his mum and baby sister. He was the man of the house; the protector, defender, rock- he existed to protect people; NOT to PUT them in danger.

Okay, so BIsexual and HOMOsexual never were nor will be the SAME, but both have been met throughout recorded world history with equal hatred.

Which was he, anyway? Girls, yeah, they could be cute…but he couldn't see himself with one **as **easily as another male.

Besides, he'd never really been interested, never met anyone…

…until recently…who was so sweet, soft, gentle…someone who he could love and protect; almost feminine in the things Masaru DID like about women, but still male; hence not well, what most females were at his age…

Chances were Tohma was straight, would be repulsed, and…Masaru didn't want to lose a friend…

…Ikuto wouldn't understand if he knew about that currently, but he would comprehend soon enough. Would Ikuto go too? And his parents' reactions?

'_Dad…I can't even tell him...can I?'_

He sunk in the corner by the door, farthest from the bed, and hand to his forehead, knees drawn to his chest, willed the lump in his throat down.

Having succeeded, he made his way over to his beddings on the floor…

A pair of gold eyes and a pair of green had both popped open, and were focused on him.

"Big Brother?"

"Masaru?"

He patted/rubbed Agumon's head, to let the dino know he'd be right there.

He knelt in front of Ikuto at the bedside.

"Aren't you supposed to be asleep?" He smiled, joking in a hushed voice.

"But…you're upset," Ikuto frowned.

…Masaru wasn't about to LIE…"It's okay." He gently stroked Ikuto's face, "You just leave the worrying to me; I'm good at that."

…

"Huh?"

Masaru shook his head, "Just go to sleep, please?" He hugged the child gently, and, letting go, looked warmly at him.

Ikuto wouldn't've been sure what to think, but by this point, he had no trouble placing his faith in the older young man.

Ikuto hadn't felt this safe in anyone's hands since Yukidarumon. But wait…what about the people who were his actual parents…What was the term for a male parent anyway?...

Masaru noticed Ikuto's just-confused-myself look, "You okay?"

"Huh?...yeah…I just thought that…I want to know my parents…but I want to stay here, too."

"You're welcome to stay here anytime. Whenever you want. You have your own family, and you'll be with them, but if anything happens, or even if it doesn't," Masaru brushed a bit of Ikuto's hair away from his big, wide eyes, "I'm here, okay?"

Ikuto nodded, to which Masaru responded, "Good! Now go to sleep."

"Okay."

Masaru gave Ikuto one last hug, and Ikuto looked at him for a moment, contentedly, before closing his eyes.

The green eyes were still on him, though.

Masaru motioned Agumon outside.

"Big Brother, what happened?" Agumon asked, sitting on the floor of the hallway next to the high-schooler, whispering so as to not wake anyone else.

Masaru sighed, '_If I told Ikuto, I risk losing him should his parents be homophobic. I have to tell Dad, but we're all catching-up. I'll somehow feel my way on the matter with Tohma, but I may have to let him go…but Agumon is another third party, and there's no fourth. With Agumon, it's just me and him…_

…_If he leaves…he was never really there like I thought…' _Not the happiest thought in the world, but he never was the duck-and-run type…

"I…" he thought and thought how to phrase it…and gave up.

"I like Tohma, and I don't know what to do about it."

"Yeah, well, the whole DATS team is really cool now; even though they used to be assholes!"

Masaru suppressed a laugh to maintain the silence, "Man, did they fuckin' eve- Wait, no, that's not what I meant!!"

Agumon just blinked, confused, "Oh…okay…huh?"

"I mean 'I like him' as in 'sweetheart' kind-of-thing…" (A/N: Literal from Japanese- sorry "Iya, koibito tte yuu fuu ni suki da to yuutoru"; couldn't fix it.)

"…Ohh…that bites…does the 'always help someone you see in trouble' thing apply if you don't know what to do?" Agumon looked helplessly over at Masaru. (A/N: Savers Movie reference. "Aniki ga iiteta, komatta hito mitara, kanarazu tasukeru no da. Sore ga otoko datte na!")

Masaru hugged Agumon and stood, resolve brightening his eyes, "No, I just needed to get my head clear…I'll handle it….And, Agumon..?"

"Mmh?"

"Thanks…for not judging me," he'd been looking away, and looked back at his friend as he completed the sentence.

"Huh?" came the simple answer, "Why would I? You're the awesome-est, Big Brother!"

Masaru gave Agumon a gentle noogie, "You're awesome, too. Let's go to sleep now."

"All that noise and all that sound/  
All those places our God found/  
And birds go flying at the speed of sound/  
To show you how it all began/  
Birds came flying from the underground/  
If you could see it then you'd understand/"

May 25th; a morning just like May 24th, and 23rd, and 22nd…but thankfully, not the 21st or before that…

Until…

"Hey, Big Brother Masaru?" Chika pulled her brother's shirt-tail.

Masaru turned away from the dishes (chores were shared-and only missed if you had a DAMN GOOD reason) and shut off the water, "Yeah?"

"Umm, well…"

Chika looked troubled. Not the I've-been-playing-hooky-to-smoke-dope kind of troubled, but maybe the I-took-from-Mum's-purse kind…?

Whatever it was, she was having trouble saying it.

As she looked down, hemming and hawing, Masaru dried off the counter to the left of the sink.

"Uhaah!" Chika let out a surprised yell as she was picked up and set down on the counter.

Masaru gave her a big, warm smile. "Relax. Whatever it is, I'm not gonna cut off your hands, you know."

Chika gave a muddled expression of warmth, uncertainty, and embarrassment.

She took a deep breath…and cut to the nitty-gritty.

"I heard what you said last night…to Agumon…that you like Tohma…"

Masaru drew a sharp breath, and on letting it out, his expression and focal point sank along with his posture.

But before he could say anything…

"I was thinking…I can help find some pretty flowers for you to give him!"

Masaru's head snapped up in stupor. "I, eh-geh-uh-what?" Then his cognitive reasoning came back…

He didn't really SAY anything; he just hugged her as tight as he could without hurting her.

"Chika…thank you."

??

"It's just 'cause I know about flowers…"

"No," Masaru let go and moved back a bit, "I mean, because-"

He was cut off by her 'head-injury-again-I-see' stare.

"You're my Big Brother Masaru; of COURSE I'm fine with this." (A/N: like, "Because you're you and what you've done" unconditional love, but he has earned it.)

"Chika…" he then picked her up, holding her mid-air in a hug…and despite being a 'big girl now', Chika didn't mind (this once).

"Ideas that you'll never find/  
All the inventors could never design/  
The buildings that you put up/  
Japan and China all lit up/  
A sign that I couldn't read/  
Or a light, that I couldn't see/  
Some things you have to believe/  
But others are puzzles, puzzling me/"

As were his duties at work, Masaru went to DATS just to fill out the report that hadn't been completed the prior evening, otherwise he would've had a full day off.

He passed a female in the hall, Sarangerel, a twenty-something Mongolian lady who worked in the records room. She gave him a look of, 'oh-YOU'RE the one'.

Masaru hunched a bit, "So, that was…your bike I knocked over Wednesday? I can-"

Sangarel sighed, "No, it wasn't…never mind."

Masaru shook his head as she left down a corridor.

It took him four long, long hours to finish all of a 3-page form…_'Had I been allowed to do it HANDWRITTEN…'_ but he wasn't. (A/N: Take it like a man!)

He glanced at the instructions Yoshino'd listed, found 'send' on the top of the screen, and was done.

'_THANK…GOD!'_

No sooner had he leaned his head back over the chair-back, and shut his eyes than…

"H-Hi."

Tohma was holding a book of some sort…

"Umm, Masaru..?"

"Yeah…?" Masaru swung to slump forward in the chair, looking at Tohma out the side of his eye. _'Here it comes…'_

"You speak Arabic, right?"

"Uh," well, THAT was the last thing he was expecting, "Yeah…why?"He turned around and stood up.

Tohma came over and showed him the book title.

Masaru glanced at the book, then looked flat-eyed at Tohma, "This is in Japanese…"

"Look at the authour's name," Tohma hinted.

"Bashar Abdulah, yeah, ok, but it's translated."

"Well, it doesn't make sense, though. Is 'Moon Lung' an Arabic colloquialism? Half the book is like this."

(A/N: The book "Who Dares Pour Fresh Air in the Moon Lung", a poetry book challenging the current state of the Arabic-speaking world, circa 2007. I just found out about it and it looks interesting if there's an English or Japanese version…)

Masaru looked at a page or two, and handed the book back, "It's poetry- depressing poetry-but still, poetry is all metaphorical shit," he shrugged, handing the book back.

Masaru turned and was about to leave when…

"Hey, Masaru…?" Tohma glanced at him and back away…_'I don't think I can do this…'_

"Mmh?"

"I-uh-it's-" Tohma sputtered, obviously uncomfortable as all get-out.

Masaru sighed, he'd been the cause of Tohma's discomfort, "No, Tohma, I need to talk to you, too."

"All those signs, I knew what they meant/  
Some things you can't invent/  
Some get made, and some get sent/  
Oh/"

He led them out the back exit where he usually went to smoke if he _had _cigarettes that day. It was an area for smoking, and there was a plywood bench.

Masaru gestured for Tohma to sit, and Masaru sat next to him apart a bit.

Masaru turned to face him, looking down at the bench between them a moment as he nervously tucked his hair behind his ear and bit his lip.

Looking up, both his face and voice were unusually serious, and Tohma thought he saw a slight of pain in Masaru's eyes.

"Tohma, I'm sorry about the other day. I…I NEVER should have touched you like that…

"…I've always believed that a real man would own up to how he really feels, and…and I like you…as in more than a friend…a LOT more than a friend…but, I'm sure you…DON'T…and all I ask…is that this doesn't ruin our friendship," he shook his head slowly, "that's all; nothing else."

Tohma put his hand gently over Masaru's on the bench, and Masaru's expression turned from bittersweet (and about to cry…always when you say these things aloud…) to shock.

Tohma looked at their hands a moment, and his face turned red if just a bit.

"I'm glad that…you like me, too…I've-I've liked you for awhile, but…I was too…scared, I guess…"

Masaru smiled, "Well, I was, too, but," he moved closer and took Tohma in a loose hug, "it worked out…really well…

"And, Tohma..?" Masaru gently brushed Tohma's lips with his finger, and moved in softly…

"Birds go flying at the speed of sound/  
to show you how it all began/  
Birds came flying from the underground/  
if you could see it then you'd understand/"

Tohma knew it was just the beginning, but he hoped to someday live with Masaru, Japanese law having an idyllic revolution or not. He joined the two families for Sunday dinner, and of everything he saw, as he lay next to Masaru on the floor that night after Ikuto was tucked in, Tohma knew…

…that what he loved most about Masaru…was his radiant heart. Tohma was a butterfly, and Masaru was the light.

As Tohma lay in Masaru's arms, just having fallen asleep, Masaru took a moment to savour the peaceful sight…

…As long as Tohma wanted him there, Masaru silently vowed to protect, care for, and fight for him.

Smiling, Masaru closed his eyes, and joined the rest in rest.

"When you see it then you'll understand/

Ah, when you see it then you'll understand/."

Lucky Masaru…unlucky me (Mine are always straight…I do feel better…this served as a good venting, too, even if the ending was more what I wish than what I've lived)

Toldja no smut… This is "T" rated/teen/school/work-safe, and this _**isn't my own computer**_ I'm using, and people blow shit way outta proportion.

Feedback would be loved, flames will cook my cup-ramen and keep me warm in this record-breaking cold. (Seriously, There was fucking ICE outside yesterday!!! SF Bay Area weather has not been low 30s/upper 20s since '72!!!)

For those reading on : The notes in the text are not my preferred notation system, but this is x-ed to LJ, and is my first one there. My ff fics, many of my readers have become confused-hell, some of my own family gets confused by my logic-meikyuu, so I'm trying to clarify my words-_-()


End file.
